{"id":4982,"date":"2011-10-03T04:00:48","date_gmt":"2011-10-03T10:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/?p=4982"},"modified":"2011-10-02T17:10:22","modified_gmt":"2011-10-02T23:10:22","slug":"barking-irony","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/2011\/10\/03\/barking-irony\/","title":{"rendered":"Barking Irony"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"barkbarkbarkbark\"Dear New Neighbor:<\/strong><\/p>\n

I bet when you saw Beagles in my back yard,<\/strong> you thought, “Oh, good!\u00a0 She’s used to barking dogs and she won’t mind mine.”<\/p>\n

Wrong.\u00a0 And wrong.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Contrary to common belief,<\/strong> a happy and fulfilled Beagle is not a habitual barker.\u00a0 (However, if you give them something to bark AT, you’re going to hear it very clearly!)<\/p>\n

Also, my dogs live behind the house.<\/strong>\u00a0 There, they don’t come face-to-face with neighbors who are walking, jogging, or having a little peripatetic quality time with their own dogs.\u00a0 I very deliberately planned that location for their hangout even though the space is long and narrow and funky beside the Arroyo Minor drop-off, because…less stress for them.\u00a0 Less stress for the neighborhood.<\/p>\n

Peace and quiet for all.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And, as it happens, my dogs do not in fact bark as a recreational activity.<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, adolescent Dart flirted with that past-time when he first arrived; we managed, prevented, and otherwise stopped it from becoming a habit until he grew through that phase.<\/p>\n

So, wrong.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Also wrong?<\/p>\n

To move into your home, dump your huge dogs there unsupervised for a week<\/strong> where they’re in a yard that runs directly along our shared dirt road, and leave the neighborhood reeling under thunderous, relentless barking.<\/p>\n

Then, when the first person mentions the problem,<\/strong> simply say that the dogs will settle in, especially now that you’re back.\u00a0 Then leave them out all day while you’re at work.\u00a0 And then, when the second person expresses distress, again say that the dogs just need time to settle in.<\/p>\n

The weeks pass.\u00a0<\/strong> The neighbor across from you, a pleasant retired person, must close her windows in spite of the need to regulate her household temperature.\u00a0 She can no longer putter amongst her flowers or keep up her yard without an unending chorus of barking.<\/p>\n

The neighbors south of you<\/strong> deal with the impact on their own dogs, who are riled and easy to upset, and burst into barking much more readily.\u00a0 Their new rescue dog experiments with barking as habitual entertainment, taking his example from your dogs.<\/p>\n

The neighbor southwest of you\u2014<\/strong>that would be me\u2014takes a single ride in her north pasture and comes back inside with ears ringing and eyes crossed and then her horse is trapped in the paddock for the next four weeks, longeing in a small space.\u00a0 She has to close up her house to get work done.\u00a0 Outdoor chores are no longer a restful time during which the muse wanders through stories.\u00a0 Her migraines do not thank you, either.\u00a0 Young Dart ponders, again, the value of recreational barking.<\/p>\n

Attempts to make friends with the dogs are fruitless;<\/strong> the shy one never gets close, and the very nice one takes tidbits with gentle teeth and then barks at everyone anyway.<\/p>\n

It isn’t their fault.\u00a0<\/strong> They’re over-stimulated, thrust into an unfamiliar environment, unsupervised.\u00a0 They’re up against the road where the world is in their face instead of restricted to the many acres behind the house.<\/p>\n

MANY ACRES.\u00a0 BEHIND THE HOUSE.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The weeks pass.\u00a0<\/strong> And finally, you receive a letter clipped to your gate, from the one neighbor who hasn’t yet spoken to you.\u00a0 (That would be me.)\u00a0 It’s as kind as it can be, but it states in no uncertain terms:\u00a0 Your dogs’ barking, while you are gone, is relentless.\u00a0 It’s distressing.\u00a0 It’s affecting the quality of life of the entire rural neighborhood\u2014where everyone loves dogs but everyone also loves their quiet life.\u00a0 It is time to do something.<\/p>\n

NOW.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dammit.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear New Neighbor: I bet when you saw Beagles in my back yard, you thought, “Oh, good!\u00a0 She’s used to barking dogs and she won’t mind mine.” Wrong.\u00a0 And wrong. Contrary to common belief, a happy and fulfilled Beagle is … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[64],"tags":[20,57],"class_list":["post-4982","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-arroyo","tag-dogs","tag-ouch"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pb2lc3-1im","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":12257,"url":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/2015\/04\/13\/a-mckittypants-love-song\/","url_meta":{"origin":4982,"position":0},"title":"A McKittypants Love Song","author":"Doranna","date":"1504.13","format":false,"excerpt":"I got everything ready to write this blog, and then promptly went outside to the fenced area of Arroyo Minor to take the dogs for a walk-romp. They enjoyed it.\u00a0 Me, I was just looking for courage. About a month ago, I blogged about our Plague Cat.\u00a0 About how Mr.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mr. McKittypants"","block_context":{"text":"Mr. McKittypants","link":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/category\/mr-mckittypants\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"mck.chair.694","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/mck.chair_.694-300x182.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":581,"url":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/2010\/02\/12\/snowgility\/","url_meta":{"origin":4982,"position":1},"title":"Snowgility","author":"Doranna","date":"1002.12","format":false,"excerpt":"posted on Friday What're you gonna do. The dogs are clamoring for training, and the road is pure muck, and the agility yard is hovering somewhere between knee-deep in snow and melted into sludge. Not to mention the next trial is looming, in the big scheme of things--when you've got\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Arroyo"","block_context":{"text":"The Arroyo","link":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/category\/the-arroyo\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":214,"url":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/2010\/01\/01\/fence-me-in\/","url_meta":{"origin":4982,"position":2},"title":"Fence Me In!","author":"Doranna","date":"1001.01","format":false,"excerpt":"The Friday Post Happy New Year! No, seriously...do it. Fence me in! And do it right! Last Thursday, I had a Christmas gift I've been looking forward to for a very long time: I took a walk with the dogs around the new pasture fenceline on the new property. Oh,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Miscellaneous!"","block_context":{"text":"Miscellaneous!","link":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/category\/miscellaneous\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5003,"url":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/2011\/10\/05\/goodiefest\/","url_meta":{"origin":4982,"position":3},"title":"GoodieFest","author":"Doranna","date":"1110.05","format":false,"excerpt":"Ready for some Wednesday Goodies? Here's a goodie to start with...for those of you who read Monday's Barking Dog Blog (which was written late Sunday)...Monday was the first real test of the Barking Dog Response...that is, would Neighbor listen to the request in the note I wrote? Monday, I am\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Backlist Ebooks"","block_context":{"text":"Backlist Ebooks","link":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/category\/backlist-ebooks\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Call from the Wild","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/c.call_.wild_.SM_.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5047,"url":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/2011\/10\/12\/all-the-things\/","url_meta":{"origin":4982,"position":4},"title":"All the Things","author":"Doranna","date":"1110.12","format":false,"excerpt":"So many things!\u00a0 All happening! There's the barking dog thing.\u00a0 Jury's still out--after three days of blessed silence last week, Thursday and Friday were nonstop barking.\u00a0 Non.\u00a0 Freaking.\u00a0 Stop.\u00a0 Barking. Another neighbor thought she had an opportunity to touch base with Barking Dog Neighbor over the weekend.\u00a0 I need to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Backlist Ebooks"","block_context":{"text":"Backlist Ebooks","link":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/category\/backlist-ebooks\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Feef's House","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/c.feefs_.house_.SM_.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":541,"url":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/2010\/02\/08\/just-not-right\/","url_meta":{"origin":4982,"position":5},"title":"Just. Not. Right.","author":"Doranna","date":"1002.08","format":false,"excerpt":"Posted on Monday Snowmageddon, New Mexico style! \u00a0I guess I'd better get used to it: Although to judge by the reaction of folks who have lived here for a while, the weekly and bi-weekly succession of storms this winter is hardly standard operating procedure. It's just the area's way of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "The Arroyo"","block_context":{"text":"The Arroyo","link":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/category\/the-arroyo\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4982","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4982"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4982\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4992,"href":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4982\/revisions\/4992"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4982"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4982"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.changespell.com\/wordplay\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4982"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}