The Last Soccer Sock

By Patty Wilber

My kids were born in 1987 and 1988.  Cloth diapers were still around, and although many people were switching to disposables, my green-self was not up for pampers (and our budget wasn’t either).

It was also a great excuse to have to buy a washing machine…

There was some gross moments…like frozen diapers in the pail in the back of my truck when I was a seasonal goose observer (with a small passenger) and when those plastic pants didn’t contain all they should have (a grand leakage of a diarrhetic nature was effective  once for driving off a traveling salesman!)

But by the time kid #2 was two and a half, we were done with diapers on butts and began to use diapers as rags for whenever we needed rags.  I think they lasted about 12 years.

Really, the last diaper was holey and done (wholly done?) around 2001.

By that time we were WELL into the Era of Soccer (which began when #1 was four years old). With soccer comes uniforms, bags, balls, (and if you are a goal keeper, other “accessories”, like finger-saver gloves and wildly colored keeper jerseys) and of course lots of Socks.

Both kids continued on through four years of college soccer (Guns Up! Go Hoyas!) and  I still have usable sweatshirts, backpacks, practice jersey’s and sweatpants but I am down to the last soccer sock.

I didn’t have Empty Nest Syndrome when they left for school.

I was,  oddly I thought, kind of melancholy when #2 graduated from college.

And yesterday, I nearly cried when I went to Target to buy tube socks for Buckshot.

The Era of Soccer really is over! (Ok! So it took me about two years to realize this!)

What the heck am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?

The Last Soccer Sock

Tube Sock for Buckshot

Tail socks help protect the tail, allowing it to grow longer and fuller.  There are commercial tail socks available, but I had  *sniff* an inexhaustible (and FREE) supply of the other sort.

Buckshot has a long and fine tail that knots easily.

Tabooli has tail hairs that are thicker and slicker, so tangles seem to brush out with much less trouble.

Both tails nearly reach the ground!

Here’s  how to use a tail sock.  Wash and condition the tail.  Braid it and secure the braid with a rubber band.  Cut the sock lengthwise down from the top about three inches to make four tabs.  Slip the sock over the tail, slip a tab in between the braid and tie to another tab. Do the same for the other two tabs.  Remove sock about every two weeks to clean and re-braid tail as the top may still get rats-nested.